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Traveling with a Dog Isn’t that hard if its Steve

November 18, 2011

Traveling with a dog is actually really easy if you are rich. if you have a car or a personal transport of some sort. Otherwise I have ran into a few problems with transportation. Mainly that on any website, at least in english, it does not say anything about dogs. In Germany it is because they don’t care. In Czech they do only because they want to charge you for it. Either to many time have I waited for a bus, and once it came they told me that I could not bring my dog, with dog passport or not. Now this puts a big pain in my ass, because damn three goats from hell if I am going to leave my dog in some foreign country. But I am sure Steve would just do “tricks” on the corner for money and make her way up to a rich bitch.

Now when I encounter this sort of situation I have three options. I can beg and plead for this bus driver to look the other way and let Steve on. The second option which is less embarrassing to me is to have Steve do all the pleading and begging. I am not sure if it is the bus drivers heart she melts or all the people, specifically ladies, on the bus who yell and rally behind Steve.  The last is just to bribe your way through, which the  easiest and smoothest behind actually being rich and driving yourself around.

The first time this happened we were lucky because there was another bus just 30 mins later that we could catch as long as we approached it the right way. We were going from Vienna to Brno, CZ. We were very surprised at these stupid employees insistence that Steve could not get on the bus, because we had used the SAME bus Agency to get there in the first place! either way, they were not having it. So I put Steve in her new Slovokian dog carrier, in which her whole body is rapped tightly in a brown bag with pictures of ground hogs all over, and just her head pokes out. But she cant lay in a circle like her old one, she must lay in a straight line. Well, this time I just put my light zippered hoody over Steve’s head and the length of the bag between the handles, through Steve over my shoulder after putting the rest of my bags under the bus. As I stood there in line to get on the bus, the bus “helper” they have here, ie they have 2 employees for every  bus, walked up to me and poked Steve in her bag. I was all like what? He said “If you want you can put that bag under the bus”.  I said no thanks, thinking the whole time “Keep your hands off my bag” like a woman and her purse. We got on the bus, Steve never made a noise and we made it to Brno.

The next time this happened it was late at night, we had just waited 12 hours for this bus because we missed the last one because it was to special to park by the other buses! So when the second guy helping with putting or bags underneath said that he doesn’t think we can bring a dog, it was murder. I really could not stand sitting in this shitty bus station in Warsaw any longer. Well, I decided that if I could slip her by the driver, which was apparently the decision maker, then maybe the subject would just go away. So I picked Steve up by the handle and just kept her low by my legs as I talked to the bus driver about where I was going and my ticket. Every ones on, but the secondary guy says something, so the bus driver walks down the isle going “bow wow” and “Ien Hunde?”. Finally he gets to me and say “me!”. He must have said “where is the bow wow”  and I showed him Steve hiding behind the bag next to me, just with her little head popping above to see what was going on.  We had the man sitting in front of us translate and the jist of it was that dogs were forbidden on the bus for more than one reason. Like the bus company was against it and the border was against it, or something. So I pick Steve up onto my lap and say if I leave the dog can I still go? With a little surprise I see, I show them here, I will just take my dog outside, then I rap my hands around Steve throat and squeeze. I will just kill the dog, leave her here and we go. Everyone in the bus Gasped at the idea. I am sure the thought teared up one woman. The crowed Goes WILD with conversation. It looks like old ladies are getting to bat the driver with thier purses. Men are in on it to, saying all sorts of apparently convincing things in polish.  I could not speak or understand a word they were saying, but I knew it was some where along the lines of  “get a heart” or “If you let him kill that dog, YOUR NEXT bus driver”. This didn’t go on long until he gave in, and said just to keep the dog down while going over the boarder and keep her quite. Not only did Steve not speak a work, but the border was joke! We didn’t have to get off and no one came on to look at anything. I already understood the reason I dont have 100 more stamps on my passport because of the damn EU, but at least it didn’t take anytime.

The Next time this happened wasn’t much later. We show up at the bus, and the bus driver says Steve needs a ticket. I go to the ticket office, they say they do not allow dogs on, they are not license and some other BS that we didn’t see online. So I go back to the driver and I just tell him they said “No ticket” not that they can’t ever. Well, he gets on the phone and calls the office that just talked to me. As I am on the phone, and the pissed off ladie is telling me the same thing she already told me, the bus driver is being bombarded by question from the other people on the bus. Well he decided if it is so important to everyone that he will just take a vote, it was unanimous. The stipulation on this bus though was that instead of the seat, or under the seat in front of me, he wanted her on the floor, in the isle, next to me. Weird.

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